The Father Of A Boy Named Sue
(Shel Silverstein / Arr.: Ko-Do 2007)

Yeah, I left home when the kid was three
And it sure felt good to be fancy free
Though I knew it wasn't quite the fatherly thing to do
But that kid kept screaming and throwing up
Pissing in his pants till I had enough
Just for revenge I went and named him Sue

It was Gatlinburg in mid July
I was gettin' drunk but gettin' by
Gettin' old and going from bad to worse
When through the door with an awful scream
Comes the ugliest queen I've ever seen
He says, "My name is Sue, how do you do ?"
Then he hits me with his purse

Now this ain't the way that he tells the tale
But he scratched my face with his fingernails
He bit my thumb
And kicked me with his high heel shoe
So I hit him in the nose and he started to cry
And he threw some perfume in my eye
It sure ain't easy fightin' an old boy named Sue


So I hit him in the head with a cane back chair
And he screamed "Hey dad, you mussed my hair !"
And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint
He was spittin' blood, I was spittin' teeth
And we crashed through the wall and out into the street
Kickin' and gouging in the mud and the blood
And the creme de menthe

Then out of his garter he pulls a gun
I'm about to get shot by my very own son
He's screaming about Sigmund Freud and looking grim
So I thought fast and I told him some stuff
How I named him Sue just to make him tough
And I guess he bought it, now I'm living with him

He cooks and he sews and he cleans up the place
He cuts my hair and shaves my face
Irons my shirts better than a daughter could do
And on the nights that I can't score
Well, I can't tell you any more
But it sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue
A son is fun but it's a joy to have a boy named Sue !